Smells like April Fools' Day. You know, immature and cheesy, with a quick, bright finish. At least according to Google Nose, one of the latest additions to Google's long line of new technologies that never seem to quite make it past April 2.
Much like in 2012, the April Fools' Day pranks arrived early from Google – and it brought the shocking news that YouTube is shutting down to prepare to pick the Best Video ever. Read on for an ongoing recap of all the practical jokes.
Closing the YouTube Contest Competition
YouTube began in 2005 as a contest to find the best video in the world. And now it's finally time to pick the winner, the YouTube Blog announced..
"Tonight at midnight, YouTube.com will no longer be accepting entries," said Tom Liston, Competition Director at YouTube, said in the video above, which features many stars from viral video, and was posted hours before it officially became April 1 in the U.S. "After eight amazing years, it is finally time to review everything that has been uploaded to our site and begin the process of selecting a winner."
The video warned everyone to watch everything before YouTube deleted it all. Make sure to check back in 2023 when YouTube returns online and you'll see the "Best Video" winner … and nothing else.
Watch the nominee announcement April 1 at 9 a.m. PT, as YouTube promises to announce all the nominees for 12 hours every day over the next two years here.
Google Nose Knows: Smell the Fear…or the Waffles!
Ever been searching Google and wanted to know what something smells like, what other searchers are sniffing for, or wanted to share an aroma via Google+? Well, take a whiff from Google's Aromabase and its whopping 15M+ scentibytes collected by StreetSense vehicles and Android Ambient Odor Detection.
Does Google Nose have the smell of success (sweet)? You decide.
Courtesy of the Google Aromabase, you can search and smell:
Abraham Lincoln - Old, musty, remnant of American historyAirport terminal - Baked tarmac and lost luggageApple Pie - Carmelized sugar, tarty fruit and baking powderApril Fools' Day - Immature and cheesy, with a quick, bright finishBanana - Sweet isoamyl acetateThe Beach - Salt water, suntan lotion and nostalgiaBeer - Barley, wheat and a bit of alcohol.Belly button - An organic tweed cotton potato sackBrownies - Fudgy chocolate deliciousnessBubble bath - A refreshing blend of lavendar and soap.Buffalo sauce - Hot sauce, oil and lots (and lots) of meatCabernet - Fruity, oaky, that'll be $22 plus state sin taxCampfire - Charcoal, toasty smores, JulyCampsite - Burning firewood with marshmallows and bear droppings.Canned cat food - Week-old salmon mixed with cardboard and vinegarCar exhaust - Poison, gas, and a salty hint of rising seasThe carnival - Cotton candy and clown sweatCasino - Cigarette smoke and the smell of sweet, sweet victoryCave - Wet moss, cold stone and dangerChristmas tree - A mix of pine, presents and joyClam Chowder - Cream and the oceanCollege dorm - Sweaty, with scents of leftover pizza and burnt popcorn.Cologne - Perfume with a hint of testosteroneDiaper - Baby powder and poopDoctor's Office - Latex and sterile metalDollar bill - Cotton and linen covered in dirt, sweat and greedDumpster - Unwashed socks in a locker room after a hockey gameDurian - Horribly, rottingly, retchingly...um, tasty!Fear - Sweat, adrenaline, proximity to hungry carnivoreFishermans Wharf - Sunbathing seals and clam chowderFresh brewed Colombian coffee - Burnt beans sprinkled across dark chocolateGarlic breath - Allyl methyl sulfideGolf course - The countryside on a sunny Sunday morning; a hole-in-one; Armando's country club sandwich delivered straight to your cartGoogle I/O - Gadgets, over-heated computers and innovationGoogleplex - Sun, trees, moonshots, optimism, multi-cultural food, over-heated computers, and five-toe shoesGrandpa's Hat - Strong coffee and the forestGrapefruit - Citrus and a bright summer morningGym clothes - Sweaty and dirty with a hint of accomplishmentHair Dye - Bleach, chemicals and a fresh startHair Salon - Burnt hair and gossipHalloween - Candy corn and/or pennies in a cardboard boxHorse manure - Dirt and feces sprinkled atop an organic farmHospital - Cold, clean, with hints of disinfectant sprayHot Springs - Boisterous bursts of sulfur with a hint of pencil lead on the noseHot tub / Jacuzzi - Chlorine with a hint of romanceImproperly installed batteries - Burnt tires with lots of energyIncense - Sweetly pungent enlightenmentJeans in the rain - A complex range of tannins jostled with pickled blueberries and aged brandy.Laptop Monitor - Wafts of burnt yet shiny metalLaundromat - Fabric softener, bleach and pure cleanlinessLavendar - Floral, soft, fresh, with hints of grandma's potpourriLemon - Fresh, bright, sour and tartLip gloss - Artificial strawberry mixed with petroleumLobster - Buttery deliciousnessLocker room - Sweat, showers and teamworkMaple syrup - Sugar and pancakes on a Saturday morning in Vermont or CanadaMars - A Curious blend of sulphur and rust with a sparkling whiff of carbon dioxide.Metal - Iron and quartersMoon rocks - Burnt gunpowder after a desert rainMoth balls - Sweet shoe polish with sprinkles of ammoniaNail polish remover - Pungent and chemical beauty. Makes you feel pampered, but also like you need to shower.Nail salon - Spa water and refreshing notes of acetoneNewborn infant - Fresh baby powder with a side of hour-old fecesNew car - Fresh and expensiveNewly mown grass - Hot, pungent, scratchy, requires iced tea.Old hotel room - Air freshener and scandalParisian streets in the morning - Flakey croissants dipped in brewing espressoPeanut butter - Peanuts, oil and nostalgiaPerfume - Cologne with a hint of estrogenPermanent marker - Rubbing alcohol poured into a puddle of gasPinot Grigio - Grapes, fruit, flowers and a buzzPizza - Cheesy goodness and yeasty bread paired with a college all-nighterPrinter paper - The freshness of a new start, or an office supply storePublic Library - A musty, dusty smell evoking brilliance and imaginationPumpkin - Cinnamon-covered squash on HalloweenRain Forest - Fresh air and monkey droppingsRock concert - Mist from fog machines and the sweat of fans dancing and jumpingRoses - Love, warmth, joy (f); Stress, tension, guilt (m)Sauna - Old men sweating after a long day on the golf courseSesame Chicken - Honey, sesame seeds, and oil. In sum: fried perfection.Skiing - Fresh piles of newly fallen snow and frozen sweatSkunk - Putrid; burnt rubber, oilStale beer - Sticky wooden floors the morning after the frat partySuccess – SweetSunscreen - Sun, sand, sun, sea, sun, plastic toys, sun, vacation, sun, sun, sunTaxi Cab - Leather seats, masked by body odor and cigarette smoke from the prior passengerToothpaste - Refreshingly minty and cleanTurkey - Gravy with a hint of drowsinessUsed Clothing - Sweaty cotton drenched with memoriesUnattended litter box - Distinct boquet of ammonia with an earthy undertoneUsed napkin - Leftover pasta sauce with the chunk of the brocolli you picked out of your toothVampire - Heavy smell of blood, light hint of garlicVanilla - Calming sweetness. Often compared to chocolate, though arguably not as goodVictory - Napalm and sweet successWaffles - Sweet bread and maple syrup on a Sunday morningWet Dog - Aggressive and foxy with notes of musk, wet towelYogurt Parfait - Oats and grains sprinkled over a beehive in the summer, as a cow gets milked by his farmer nearby.Google Cold Searches
You've heard of Google Hot Searches. Now meet Cold Searches. Yes, it's all the anti-trending searches that only a few hundred people are searching for.
Whether it's "Y2K", or "Do my legs look fat, or is it just that my jeans are too tight?" "macarena step-by-step", or even "what it means when you text hey girl good night but she doesn't answer", Google will show you some of the least popular searches. U.S. (and today) only.
Google Treasure Maps
Yarrr! Google has introduced Treasure Mode to Google Maps. The goal is to solve a mystery involving a treasure map that once belonged to an infamous pirate Captain Kidd.
The maps let you explore 2D landmarks as you explore for hidden treasure chests. And as Google warns, "Treasure Maps is our Beta Maps technology and has certain system requirements. Your system may not be able to display at higher resolutions than paper print. Take care when unfolding the map to avoid ripping it."
Gmail Blue
Celebrating its ninth anniversary today, Gmail is going blue, according to the Gmail Blog. And only one of the statements in that previous sentence is true.
It's Gmail. Only bluer. Why? Because brown was a disaster.
Bold is blue. Underline is blue. Italics is blue as well. Your message composes in blue.
Can you believe you've waited this long for this?
Google Analytics Reports 41 Visitors from the International Space Station
Checked the Real-Time section of Google Analytics lately? You should. You just might have 41 active visitors on your site from the International Space Station – Control Room:
If you click on that "city", then click on Traffic Sources or Content and you'll get a special April Fool's message:
Google Analytics also unveiled some new Export & Send Features which you'll probably never want to take advantage of:
Google Mobile ATM
After you've used Google Nose to get a whiff of that sweet aroma of a dollar bill – you remember, "cotton and linen covered in dirt, sweat and greed" – you may be saying, "Hey, I want some of that." Well, meet Google Wallet Mobile ATM.
Need cash fast? Why go to the bank or ATM ever again now that you can own this brilliant smartphone attachment.
Simply enter your PIN and Google Wallet Mobile ATM will let you withdraw everything from $1 bills, to $2 bills, to even $50 bills. Oh, and:
"If your mobile ATM is running low on funds, a self-driving, armored, hybrid vehicle will be alerted and dispatched to your location – arriving within minutes to quickly and safely refill their ATM."
Extreme Makeover: Google SCHMICK Edition
For those in Australia who want to turn their house into "virtual artwork" on Street View, Google has unveiled Google SCHMICK – the Simple Complete House Makeover Internet Conversion Kit.
"Forgot to mow the nature strip? Deck it out with some fresh buffalo grass. Front steps falling down? Swap them out for doric columns and a pergola. Graffiti on the front fence? Cover it with so many palm trees people will think they’re on the Vegas strip," reads the blog post.
Check out this amazing renovation courtesy of SCHMICK. Watch this:
Becomes this:
Now try it out for yourself here.
Google's Add Emotion Button
Sometimes (apparently) your face doesn't tell the whole story. Sometimes you need an emoticon. Whether you're feeling a little :-) or :/, Google's "Add emotion" button now has you covered.
"We will plumb the emotional depths of everyone in the photo, then summarize their feelings with a beautifully crafted, emotion icon," reads the Google+ post. "Click on the button again to return to the original version of your photo. We hope you enjoy using the feature and we look forward to seeing your emotionally-charged posts "
Google Apps Levity Algorithm
Ever wanted to make an email subject more fun – you know, maybe turn a subject line like "HR Memo" into "The New Hotness" but didn't know how do it? Or optimize a presentation into something more eye- and ear-catching?
Now there's a Google App for that.
"Created in partnership with legendary improv comedians from Chicago's Second City Communications, the Levity Algorithm is carefully tuned to help you spice up even the most boring of work days," reads the Google Enterprise blog post. "Send happier emails, hold more engaging meetings, write more mind-blowing presentations -- and above all, turn those frowns upside down."
Simply turn on the levity and your Google Calendar will be packed with fun events such as a chat w/ T. Fey, drinks with S. Colbert, or morning pool party and massages.
It's a Beautiful Day in the Fiberhood
Utility poles are about to become a lot more useful. Maybe. For some, especially hackers, they may become a second home. Unless people start camping out 24/7 at spontaneous hackathons.
Google has a solution for these so-called Pole Hoggers.
"We’ve heard this can be a problem and we are working on ways to detect the Pole Hoggers are institute a 2 hour ban for their use every 2 hours they use," according to the Google Fiber to the Pole site. "Until we perfect our Pole Hogging Detector technology, we ask that users do not stay for more than 2 hours when others are waiting. If this is a problem, please call the Fiber Space and ask for a Fiber Chaperone to come to your Pole and explain proper Pole etiquette."
Bing Introduces Bing Basic, New SEO Tag
Google isn't the only search engine checking in with April Fools' antics. Bing has introduced Bing Basic and the SEO tag.
Aside from being an obvious shot at Google, what is Bing Basic? As the blog post explains, it's a "special test" that discourages exploration and discovery and with a bland "1997, dial-up sensibility." So if you go to Bing's home page and type in "Google" you'll see this:
Hover over the colored boxes and Bing will give you the following messages, along with a link to a related Bing Images search result:
Having trouble seeing this picture of an artic fox eating a marshmallow in a snowstorm? (Links to "arctic fox") When there's nothing else to look at… (Links to "watching paint dry") If blank space is your thing… (Links to "plain white paper") With so many delicious flavors available, most people still choose vanilla (Links to the Bing It On page)
Click on the "I'm Feeling Confused" button and you'll be taken back to the explanatory blog post.
As for the SEO tag, Bing's post explains that you can now take control of your search rankings. With two pieces of code, you can either tell Bing what position you want your site to appear in, or simply rank one spot higher than your competitor. They are:
< link rel="SEO" query="weather" set_to_position="2" />
< link rel="SEO" must_be_before="*.mycompetitor.com/*" />
"Upon launch we’ll only recognize one “must_be_before” tag, but beginning on April 1st, 2014, you’ll be able to stack up to 50 of them in your code to offer greater coverage for your site," says Bing.
Wolfram|Alpha's Handwritten Knowledge Engine
Introducing Wolfram|Alpha's Handwritten Knowledge Engine – the only Handwritten Knowledge Engine that has a team of real humans ready to transcribe and illustrate your queries.
A warning from Wolfram|Alpha: "I definitely cannot recommend running your homework through Wolfram|Alpha, printing out the handwritten results, and trying to pass them as your own. Definitely not."
Act fast before everyone gets hand cramps and calls it an April Fools' day. Probably right around midnight.
Twitter Puts a Premium on Vowels
Want to use vowels in your tweets? It'll cost you $5. Twitter's new Twttr service has arrived. Consonents are still free – and Twttr promises "y" will remain free "today and forever".
Additionally, Twitter has expanded from 140 to 141 characters, but the price for that extra character is "based on a bidding system reflecting the popularity of the character you would like to add."
"We’re doing this because we believe that by eliminating vowels, we’ll encourage a more efficient and 'dense' form of communication," reads the blog post. "We also see an opportunity to diversify our revenue stream."
What's your favorite spoof this year?
Seen any others? Let us know in the comments and we'll be sure to add them.
Yes, still updating…check back soon.
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